Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

1.Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

今天，我顺便去男友家看看，发现他在看一卷自制XX录像带，他和他前女友以前拍的。更糟糕的是他抽噎着关掉了这个，然后抱着枕头哭起来。FML

2.Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

今天，我试图把我的车开出我男友的公寓车库而不可得，为什么？因为有人决定在车库门前面ML，窗口的蒸汽映出他们完整的轮廓，声音还很大。FML

3. Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

今天，我和一个喜欢的男生聊天，我认为他是个让人愉快的人，我完全错了，这家伙坐我前面一遍说话一边自慰。FML

4. Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

今天，我交往一年的男友喝多了告诉我，因为我平胸所以他永远不会再和我ML了。他在他所有朋友的面前说的。FML

5. Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

今天，我对我的临床医生说谎了，我说我的ml生活“让我感觉更好”。